Chapter 88: To not hurt you
“… Oy~? Olga?”
After hearing the unexpected words from Rishell, my consciousness apparently flew somewhere far away.
I have no memories until Rishell called to me.
“Wha! Yes!?”
“Are you all right? You were blanking out.”
I am not all right at all. I am not all right at all but I have no choice but to be all right.
Eh, wait. My head had not caught up with the situation yet.
“… Are you that shocked?”
“… Yes, rather, were you serious?”
Is he not lying just to make me confused?
When I looked at Rishell with a doubtful gaze, “You really don’t trust me.” Rishell smiled wryly.
“I am serious… I bet everyone already noticed that.”
“Eh, no way.”
Am I really that dense!?
Is this perhaps why everyone is telling me that I am dense…?
“… Olga, I truly love you… if you are fine with it, I would like us to become a couple.”
His serious look and tune were out of order from his usual malicious smile.
I wanted to blurt out OK right away, but I mustn’t. If I don’t want to kill Rishell, I have to refuse him.
“… I am sorry.”
I squeezed my voice out of me and said that.
… The moment I said I am sorry and looked at Rishell, my heart pained but I pretended to not recognize it.
“… Can you at least tell me the reason?”
“… I have never seen you as anything more than a friend and it will be the same after this.”
After declaring that, I looked down.
… Not good, I want to cry.
Why was I born as the Heroine?
If I wasn’t in the position where the lives around me are in danger, would we be able to become a couple?
“… But, when I was nursing you, you told me ‘Rishell, I am sorry… I love you.’ you know?”
“… I don’t remember that.”
My heart hurts every time I say a lie.
The truth is that I don’t want to lie, I want to tell him that I love him too.
However, I cannot do that.
“… Do you really not remember?”
“… Eh?”
Rishell was making an extremely saddened face and my heart made me let out a weird voice.
… Why am I making Rishell make such expression?
“Do you really have no remembrance of saying that to me, Olga?”
“I don’t.”
I thought it was a dream at first, but I remember it clearly.
… I won’t say it though.
Hanging my head in shame while mocking my own self, Rishell spoke up with a voice full of confidence.
“… That’s a lie, right?”
“Wha.”
Rishell’s voice seemed so confident that I unconsciously leaked a strange voice out of my mouth.
… What is he saying, this person?
“How many years do you think we know each other? I can at least tell when you are lying.”
“… Eh, what are you saying?”
This person is seriously scary.
… But, it’s Rishell who has a hobby of observing people, so… it’s possible.
I didn’t want you to express your cleverness right here.
“D, don’t you think that you are too confident in yourself!?”
“I don’t? I am telling you that I can read what’s on your head.”
No, that’s seriously scary!
Moreover, when you say that with a whole-faced smile, I can’t stop shaking.
This far exceeds observation skills, it’s already out of that dimension.
He’s an esper I am telling you, an esper!
“In the first place, do you think I would be confessing without having any chances of success?”
“Ah…”
I am a coward, so I am the type who would confess only after ascertaining whether the other party likes me.
Rishell said so while laughing prettily.
… I can only feel the chills though!
But, that’s certainly true. It’s that malicious, bright and distrustful Rishell we are talking about, so he wouldn’t confess without ascertaining the other party’s feelings first.
… Rather, he would wait for the other party to confess.
“That’s why I intended to learn about your feelings, Olga.”
“……”
This fellow, did he perhaps notice my feelings even before I did…!?
“… Well, it’s you we are talking about, so you probably didn’t want to cause trouble for me or something, right?”
Rather than trouble, it’s the endangerment of your life.
I cannot let you associate with me…
“Am I that unreliable?”
N? The moment I looked up, Rishell’s face approached mine and my body pulled back. Too close!
Moreover, his malicious smile (on full throttle) was right in front of me, so I couldn’t stop trembling.
Anyone watching from the side could tell that this is a scene of coercion.
You, if you told this to someone else, they will surely have a great misunderstanding, alright!
“T, that’s not…”
I mean, he definitely wouldn’t believe me.
If I told him that I have my past life’s memories and that both he and I are the main protagonists, he would definitely throw me into the hospital.
“Then, what is it about?”
“E, err.”
Someone, please lend me a brain to deal with Rishell (malicious prince)!
“… In fact, Olga. I heard something else from you while you had the fever… ‘I don’t want to die.’ you said.”
“!”
I have no memories of saying that.
That’s why I must have been genuinely sleep-talking.
… Was I perhaps seeing a nightmare during the fever?
When I thought of trying to deceive him, Rishell opened his mouth and interrupted me.
“… Hey, Olga. I want to protect you. If you have something you are uneasy about, I would like you to tell me… no matter what it is, I will believe you.”
“……”
No matter what it is, huh.
My story could be described only as crazy.
He will surely not believe that I have memories of my past life.
… However, I wanted to tell him.
I want to trust him.
Most likely, if Rishell doesn’t believe me, I will end up in a mental hospital, but… it might be worth telling him.
“… Will you really believe me?”
“… Yeah.”
I closed my eyes and made up my mind.
… Taking a deep breath, I began talking about my past life.