It was in middle school that I noticed something strange in our group.
It had been a few years since Yuu joined our group, and as I expected, she quickly became the center of the class with me. Rather, she became the center of the whole grade.
I had confidence in my looks, but compared to Yuu, I fell short, so it was a given.
I wasn’t jealous or anything though, that didn’t bother me much.
“Oh, it’s Umi~! Good morning, Umi!”
“Woah–! Hey hey, why are you jumping on me like that? What are you, a dog? …Well, you’re cute, so if you let me hug you, I’ll forgive you~”
“Ehehe ~ Thank you, Umi.”
We were now middle schoolers, but Yuu and I were as close as ever. Unlike back when she was in grade school, she had stopped being shy in front of everyone. She was still clingy to me, though.
Her smile was the same as always.
I’m happy that I had a special place in her heart, but at the same time, she was a bit too attached to me.“Sanae, Manaka, good morning.”
“Good morning, Umi-chan.”
“Good morning.”
My relationship with Sanae and Manaka didn’t change. They were still my friends, they just weren’t as clingy as Yuu. Rather, this should be how a normal friendship looked like, Yuu was way too clingy.
“Ah, right, Yuu, aren’t you on duty today? Have you gotten the journal from sensei yet?”
“Eh? …Ah, right!”
“Jeez… hurry up, go and get it, if you’re late, sensei will be mad at you.”
“O-okay! Everyone, I’ll be back soon!”
Yuu said as she walked out the classroom. Her blonde hair fluttered as she moved.
She was just going to get the class’ journal, yet the sight of her running was so picturesque. Like a butterfly, roaming around in a field of flowers.
Everyone was fascinated by her, even though we were all girls here.
“Seriously, that girl… Anyway, both of you, are you guys free on weekends?”
“Eh? Hmm ~ I’m not sure…”
“Depends, I have to study after all. What gives?”
“Hehe, you see…”
I took out a ticket from my pocket. It was a movie ticket. My mom had gotten them for free from her acquaintance and gave them to me so that I could go with my friends.
“I have four tickets with me, so why don’t we go together? After we finish watching the movie, we can hang out somewhere.”
Since we entered middle school, the four of us had been hanging out less and less. Both Sanae and Manaka were busy with their studies, and even when we made plans to hang out, oftentimes, one of them didn’t make it, and in some cases, both of them didn’t.
This happened so often that I grew tired of even trying, but I still asked them out, nonetheless.
I knew we wouldn’t stop being friends even if we didn’t hang out for a while, but I wanted to have a good time with my homies once in a while, you know?
Also, I was the leader of our group of friends, it was my duty to keep everyone together.
“Uhm ~ Let’s see ~ My schedule for weekends… Ah…”
“I don’t think I can make it this weekend.”
“Eh? What are you guys up to? Cram school?”
I knew it. Oh well.
“Mhm. The usual~”
“I have cram school and other things to do.”
“I see… Well, it can’t be helped.”
Yuu and I were both from a normal family, but Sanae and Manaka were from rich households. Unlike mine or Yuu’s family, their families were really strict on them, especially regarding their education.
“I’m sorry, Umi-chan. Even though you went out your way to invite me…”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. Like I said, it can’t be helped.”
I patted them on their shoulders as they made apologetic looks.
The tickets would be wasted, but it was okay. Friendship came first, after all.
“What about next Sunday? I’m free by that time. What about you, Manaka?”
“Mm. I can ask my parents to let me have a break for a bit.”
See? At least everything wouldn’t be a complete waste. In the end, we were able to make plans for next weekend.
“Thanks for waiting, everyone! I got the journal~”
“Well, we shouldn’t talk about it here… I’ll wait for you guys in the usual spot, okay?”
…It would be lonely, but I didn’t want the tickets to go to waste, so I decided to go see the movie by myself. I could have invited Yuu to go with me, but I didn’t want the other two to feel left out. Besides, watching a movie by myself wasn’t a bad idea, I could concentrate on it better.
So, on Saturday, I went to the theater by myself without telling Yuu about it. I went out feeling strangely excited, but everything suddenly took a turn for the worse.
I was on my way to the cinema. It was located in the downtown area, about two or three train stops away from the place where I usually hung out with my group.
“Uhm… the cinema, where is it~?”
I was walking while looking at the map on my phone. I suddenly heard familiar voices.
“Yuu-chan, c’mon! Let’s go over there next!”
“Ah, you two, wait for me!…”
At that moment, I felt my chest tightened.
The voices I heard were the voices of my three friends.
Sanae, Manaka and Yuu.
I turned my head toward the direction of their voices, and sure enough, there they were.
Yuu aside, didn’t those two tell me that they were busy? Why are they here?
By reflex, I immediately hid in the shadows as I watched them.
“What’s wrong Yuu-chan? Your face doesn’t look too good. You aren’t having fun?”
“Eh? No, I’m having fun. This kind of place is new to me, so everything feels exciting… But, Umi isn’t here…”
“A-ah I see… Well, it can’t be helped. I invited her to come, but she said she has something to do today.”
“Mhm. I also asked her, and she answered today is no good.”
Wrong. Weren’t they the ones who said that they were busy? Why were they telling Yuu lies like that? …Why were they singling me out like this?
As soon as that thought appeared in my mind, I could feel a wave of nausea hit me. They lied to me. They left me out and hung out with Yuu in faraway places so that I wouldn’t find out.
I wanted to confront them. I wanted to know… Why did they lie to me? Why were they leaving me out? Weren’t we friends? Did they think that I was cocky because I was the leader of our group?
“…Ugh…”
But, my feet refused to move.
At the last second, I realized something.
If I were to confront them right now, our friendship would be destroyed. If I were to vent my anger at them, our relationship would never be the same.
“…I have to pretend that I didn’t see them here…”
I whispered that to myself. I was sad and angry about what happened, but I only need to put up with it, a small price to protect our friendship.
That way, Yuu’s angelic smile wouldn’t be tainted by sadness.
Yuu didn’t need to know about this.
I ran back home without doing anything so that the three of them wouldn’t find me there. I tore up the tickets, which were wet for some reason and threw them into a trash can at a nearby convenience store.
Since then, I kept pretending to not know anything and our relationship didn’t change because of it. It hurt me, but I could bear it.
That was what I thought in the beginning. Eventually, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I found out that they only lied to me once, but the shock of being lied to by the people I genuinely trusted left a bigger hole in my heart than I expected.
Winter of the third year of middle school. I was supposed to continue at the same high school with them, but I told my parents about my situation and decided to transfer to a different high school.
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